Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth.
I’m re-reading the best-selling book, Grit.
The quote above is a part of the author’s Hard Thing Rules.
It reminded me of when my son David was twelve years old.
He was the starting fullback for the Aurora Youth League (AYL) Rams, a football team.
Because football is a contact sport, and the organizers maximize safety and ensure fair play, all players must ‘weigh-in’ to be eligible annually. The purpose is to make sure that kids playing against each other are of similar age and size.
At the weigh-in, kids typically take off their equipment and hop on the scale.
David had missed the original weigh-in appointment and had to attend a make-up date after football practice on a school night. As a result, after school and practice, he was tired, hungry, and irritable.
We arrive at the weigh-in location. Before I can remind David to take off his football equipment, he jumps on the scale.
The woman in charge announces, “You have exceeded the maximum ballcarrier limit by 5 pounds– you are no longer eligible to play in a position that normally handles the ball.”
This decision means that David has lost his starting role. He is devasted and begins to cry–tears of sorrow.
I say to her, “His equipment weighs at least 10 to 15 pounds! For years, kids have always been allowed to take off their equipment for the weigh-in. Can we try it again without his gear on?”
“No! A player will have only one chance to make his weight. Once he steps on an official scale and is found to be overweight, the decision is final!”
I can’t believe that this person would be so insensitive to a child.
Yet, technically, she is correct.
However, this strict application of the rule did not feel it was in the spirit of fun and sportsmanship for children.
There is a difference between managers and leaders. Managers adhere strictly to rules. Leaders recognize exceptional circumstances and make the appropriate decisions–they adhere to people.
David says, “I quit.”
I say, “We are Tate’s. We finish what we start. If you choose not to play next year, that’s acceptable, but you will not quit this season. Not under these circumstances.”
The team, coaches, David, and I are disappointed.
But sometimes, with bad news, there is a hidden reward.
While experimenting, the coaches noticed that the offense worked better with David at the center position. This spot was exempt from the ballhandler weight rule.
He became the starting center for the AYL Rams.
Fast forward to the end of the season. For the first time in Ram’s history, they qualify for the Denver Bronco Bowl – the state championship tournament.
They win the 1998 state championship!
From tears of sorrow to tears of joy!
David is holding the championship trophy in his hands.
He’s crying—this time tears of joy.
I whisper in his ear, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t quit!”
He looks up and smiles.
Unintended consequences happen for the worse and the better.
Sometimes the worst thing that happens to us turns out to be the best.
When it comes to winning high-stakes presentations, we don’t allow our clients to quit on a bad day.
You can’t quit on a bad day.
What’s your story of a bad day, you didn’t quit, and it worked out in your favor?
Ed Tate is an award-winning international Keynote speaker, trainer, and author. Worldwide he is known as “The Speaker Who Energizes, Educates, and Entertains.”
Using the principles, he teaches, Ed Tate won the “American Idol of Public Speaking” and became the 2000 World Champion of Public Speaking. This award is Toastmasters International’s most prestigious speaking award among its 332,000+ members.
In 2008, Ed earned the Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation from the National Speakers Association. It is the speaking profession's international measure of professional platform skill. It is an honor bestowed on less than 12% of its members.
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